Waiting For Lightning to Strike

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have things figured out yet. I don’t have a five year plan - I don’t even have a one year plan. When I graduated from university in 2009 I had a vague idea that I wanted to eventually pursue a graduate degree, but I was mostly relieved that I had managed to graduate at all. I rode that high for a few months, as I job hunted and caught up on my favourite TV shows and summer reading, waiting for a flash of inspiration to hit me. Any day now, I thought, a decision is going to descend from the heavens and alight on me like a divine truth, and I will know with absolute certainty and perfect clarity what I am meant to be doing.

A few more months passed and still no job. Sending out job applications started to feel like launching rocket ships into a black hole. Silence was the only answer I got back.. Am I the only one who hates this new system of online applications?

So I stopped sending them. I started to imagine myself at thirty, still unemployed, still living with my parents, my university diploma gathering dust in the bookshelf like a failed experiment. I started sleeping in later and watching more TV. I stopped talking to my friends because I could no longer answer the dreaded question, “So what are you up to these days?”

Just as I started to sink into a gooey mire of lethargy and depression, my mom (God bless her) suggested that if I couldn’t find a job, I should try doing some volunteer work. Well, I groaned and grumbled about how it should come to this, but I had to admit that it was better than staying home. So I started to volunteer with a local aid agency and for the first few months I was basically stuffing envelopes and picking up the mail. So much for my expensive education, I thought.

Then something horrible happened. On an island in the Caribbean a devastating earthquake claimed thousands of lives and aid agencies rushed to the scene to minister to the suffering populace. Suddenly I was on a plane to Haiti, sent by my organization to support a team offering vital services on the ground. If it didn’t sound so macabre, I would say I was in the right place at the right time. Not only did I meet some amazing people, but in witnessing the resilience of the survivors of that disaster helped me put my own situation into perspective.

Truth be told, a year later, I still don’t have things completely figured out. I’m still waiting to be struck by a cosmic bolt of inspirational lightning. But in the meantime I’m doing things I love: I’ve joined a choir, taken up a martial art, started crocheting again (I’ve only made scarves so far and one misshapen hat, but it was fun!), and I’ve even found a part-time job to tie me over. I’ve learned that life isn’t going to stand still while I figure things out (and Thank God it doesn’t!), so I’ve decided to just get on with the living of it.