I’m a procrastinator. There, I said it. If I can put it off, I will. If I can delay it, so much the better. I’ve tried to rationalize that I work better under pressure, but I really don’t. The few times I’ve managed to get a head start on things, I’m always happier for it. Of course, sometimes I play this trick on myself where I start something really early (say an article for instances), and having soothed my anxiety and convinced myself that I’ve made a good start of it, I let it sit until the last minute and end up scrambling to finish it anyway. It’s a bloody cycle.
I was never exactly a bad student, but I wasn’t an overachiever either. I turned in my assignments on time (mostly) but I only did exactly what was expected of me and no more. I wasn’t big on studying before tests, relying on my (not-so-great) memory and a bit of luck to carry me through, and usually it did. I didn’t see a problem and pretty much sailed through high school like that, until I got to university. Still, besides a few all-nighters and slapping myself for my own stupidity (“I can’t believe I’m doing this to myself AGAIN!”), I managed to graduate with pretty good grades. Look at that, I thought to myself, I can get away with a little slacking off after all. Don’t get me wrong, I knew it was a bad habit, but I figured in time I would miraculously become mature and responsible. But my irregular study habits and just-enough-to-get-by work ethic bit me in the butt long after I thought it would ever matter again.
The thing about procrastination is that it doesn’t just screw me up in the classroom; it gets me in the workplace too and even in my personal life. The same personality glitch that has me delaying projects at the office, prompts me to put off a confrontation with a friend. Turns out that good study-habits translate into good self-discipline... and vice versa.
The first step on the road to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right? But I need to go further and identify why I procrastinate. We all procrastinate for different reasons and for me it’s largely a fear of failure. While it’s true that it doesn’t hurt to try, it definitely hurts to fail. I go to great lengths to ensure that I don’t fail and procrastinating isn’t my only coping mechanism. Another thing I do is avoid competition like the Plague. If my best friend is taking violin lessons, I’m doing piano; that way no matter how good she gets at it I won’t ever have to compare myself to her. When doing a presentation, I make sure to go first so that the audience doesn’t have a chance to compare me to all the other presentations that follow.
The fear of failure is a powerful thing, something I’m still struggling to overcome. But in the meantime, how do I make sure that my bad habit doesn’t drag me down? Here are some helpful tips that have been suggested to me by wise friends and family members - tips that I have been trying to put into practice:
1) Make a list. I love lists: so neat, so precise, so graceful! You can tack your To Do list on your wall where you’ll see it every day. Write in big letters, decorate it if it helps. I promise you’ll feel like Christmas morning when you get to cross things off your list.
2) Take frequent breathers. Now this one is a tricky one, because the procrastinator in me gets easily distracted. This is a good exercise in self-discipline (you may need a timer with a big obnoxious bell for this one). For example: if you’re working on a project, work for an hour, stop and take a 15 minute break (to use the bathroom, grab a snack, do a quick yoga pose), then go back to work for another hour and repeat the process.
3) Take deep, rib-cracking breaths. This may or may not work for you, but when I start to feel overwhelmed by a task, I find that breathing in as far as I can go and holding it there for a bit before breathing out really helps relieve the panicky feeling I get. A quick walk around the block is also good.
4) Identifying your trigger. This one was suggested to me by the wise and lovely Miss D. Sometimes all it takes is figuring out why you procrastinate. Once I figured out that my procrastination was caused by a fear of failure, I had to remind myself that I don’t always fail. There are successes in my past, accomplishments I’m proud of, but sometimes I forget them. I also had to remind myself that I’ve failed before and it wasn’t the end of the world. Sure it hurt a bit, but I got back up again and brushed myself off and I was a stronger person because of it. I am a stronger person because of it.
Don’t let procrastination hold you back. It’s a bad habit, but it’s a habit that can be broken with some practice and a bit of determination, and since you and I are living in limbo, we have plenty of time to do it!
PS: If you have any other suggestions about how to overcome procrastination, please post it in the comments. I need all the help I can get!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Friday, June 17, 2011
Escaping the If Only's
Two days ago, I graduated again. I should be excited, but I don’t really feel anything more than general satisfaction. My mind, you see, is too filled with ‘If onlys’ to be excited. If only I’d studied harder in my first degree. If only I’d done a different degree. If only I’d gone back to school sooner. If only I’d been more proactive about my job search.
I’m sure many of you have experienced a raging case of the ‘if only’s’. They are those pernicious thoughts about where you would be if only things had happened differently. And while it’s not necessarily the worst thing in the world to be aware of how life could have turned out differently for you, quite a few of us limbo dwellers find that that alternate ‘if only’ life is all we can think about. We find ourselves consumed with bright, shiny images of that successful, fulfilling other life. And inevitably, those images cast a long shadow over the life we are actually leading. We cannot help but view our actual life as worse on every count, even if we still have many wonderful things in it. Worst of all, focusing only on our ‘if only’ alternate life can make us feel as if we have nothing to look forward to. I’m willing to bet that many of you will agree with me that it often seems as if there’s no point in trying to get out of limbo, because our chance for a better future has already passed us by. But has it?
No, it hasn’t. In theory, we all know this. In practice? Clearing your mind of the if only’s is much harder, as even success in life can trigger thoughts of how you could have done even better. Here are a few of the things that have (and haven’t!) helped me. How do you deal with them? Comment away and let us know!
1. Outright avoidance. One of the first things I did was to simply stop thinking about what I could have done. I’m not talking about ‘overcoming’ them, or any of that nonsense. Instead, I went into denial that things could have turned out differently. I pretended that I didn’t really care about the fact that I could have been furthering my studies instead of sitting around at home and half-heartedly looking for a job. While this made me feel better about my current situation, it didn’t help me address what had got me into that situation in the first place. And underneath my denial I knew the truth - that I could have been doing something better.
2. Giving in. The problem with avoidance is that often the if only’s come back in full force at the slightest opportunity! As soon as you begin to acknowledge that you could have done something else, you can’t help but think what else you’ve missed out on! Why didn’t you listen your parents and apply for that internship? Why didn’t you ignore your parents and study what you really wanted to study? Before too long, you find yourself practically paralyzed with all the various possibilities you once had, and now think are gone forever. I felt a bit better that I was acknowledging my circumstances, but even worse once I took a long, hard look at my life.
3. Downplay the if only’s. After giving in to the fact that yes, if I had done things differently, my life would look very different, I began to come up with reasons as to why such an alternate life wouldn’t have been so great after all. I would have been too young to start such an intense program! I definitely would have failed at it. Oh, I would have been stuck in a job that I hated! That alternate life would actually have been worse than the one I have now! It’s much better that things turned out the way they did.
Look - this may be true. It may be the case that the life you would have led would have been worse than the one you are leading now. However, it’s not certain that this is so! Pretending that your life is going better than any other possible way is just as bad as outright avoidance. At some point, your rational brain is going to kick in and say ‘Hey! You know, it probably would have been easier if I’d got that well-paying job’ and then you may very well find your illusion crumbling around you. So what do you do?
4. All of the above. No, really. I’ve learnt that for me, a few if only’s aren’t so bad after all. They help to remind me that I don’t have to be satisfied with living in limbo if it’s not fulfilling for me. I could have done differently - so why don’t I try? I don’t think about them all the time, but to a certain extent they’re still there. It’s good to remember that your decisions, however small, can have a lasting effect on your life. Depending on what you’ve done, your life could have been easier or harder than it is. It took me a while, but eventually I recognized that this is perfectly okay. However, the really important thing is to focus on the life you have now. What will make your future the best one possible? Use your only ifs to remind you of how much potential your life has. In fact, I prefer to translate them into ‘what ifs’. What if I decided to volunteer for a bit? What would what future look like? What if I applied for that job after all? You can get excited about these what ifs, because they don’t belong to a life that has passed you by. They’re part of a future that just has yet to come.
I’m sure many of you have experienced a raging case of the ‘if only’s’. They are those pernicious thoughts about where you would be if only things had happened differently. And while it’s not necessarily the worst thing in the world to be aware of how life could have turned out differently for you, quite a few of us limbo dwellers find that that alternate ‘if only’ life is all we can think about. We find ourselves consumed with bright, shiny images of that successful, fulfilling other life. And inevitably, those images cast a long shadow over the life we are actually leading. We cannot help but view our actual life as worse on every count, even if we still have many wonderful things in it. Worst of all, focusing only on our ‘if only’ alternate life can make us feel as if we have nothing to look forward to. I’m willing to bet that many of you will agree with me that it often seems as if there’s no point in trying to get out of limbo, because our chance for a better future has already passed us by. But has it?
No, it hasn’t. In theory, we all know this. In practice? Clearing your mind of the if only’s is much harder, as even success in life can trigger thoughts of how you could have done even better. Here are a few of the things that have (and haven’t!) helped me. How do you deal with them? Comment away and let us know!
1. Outright avoidance. One of the first things I did was to simply stop thinking about what I could have done. I’m not talking about ‘overcoming’ them, or any of that nonsense. Instead, I went into denial that things could have turned out differently. I pretended that I didn’t really care about the fact that I could have been furthering my studies instead of sitting around at home and half-heartedly looking for a job. While this made me feel better about my current situation, it didn’t help me address what had got me into that situation in the first place. And underneath my denial I knew the truth - that I could have been doing something better.
2. Giving in. The problem with avoidance is that often the if only’s come back in full force at the slightest opportunity! As soon as you begin to acknowledge that you could have done something else, you can’t help but think what else you’ve missed out on! Why didn’t you listen your parents and apply for that internship? Why didn’t you ignore your parents and study what you really wanted to study? Before too long, you find yourself practically paralyzed with all the various possibilities you once had, and now think are gone forever. I felt a bit better that I was acknowledging my circumstances, but even worse once I took a long, hard look at my life.
3. Downplay the if only’s. After giving in to the fact that yes, if I had done things differently, my life would look very different, I began to come up with reasons as to why such an alternate life wouldn’t have been so great after all. I would have been too young to start such an intense program! I definitely would have failed at it. Oh, I would have been stuck in a job that I hated! That alternate life would actually have been worse than the one I have now! It’s much better that things turned out the way they did.
Look - this may be true. It may be the case that the life you would have led would have been worse than the one you are leading now. However, it’s not certain that this is so! Pretending that your life is going better than any other possible way is just as bad as outright avoidance. At some point, your rational brain is going to kick in and say ‘Hey! You know, it probably would have been easier if I’d got that well-paying job’ and then you may very well find your illusion crumbling around you. So what do you do?
4. All of the above. No, really. I’ve learnt that for me, a few if only’s aren’t so bad after all. They help to remind me that I don’t have to be satisfied with living in limbo if it’s not fulfilling for me. I could have done differently - so why don’t I try? I don’t think about them all the time, but to a certain extent they’re still there. It’s good to remember that your decisions, however small, can have a lasting effect on your life. Depending on what you’ve done, your life could have been easier or harder than it is. It took me a while, but eventually I recognized that this is perfectly okay. However, the really important thing is to focus on the life you have now. What will make your future the best one possible? Use your only ifs to remind you of how much potential your life has. In fact, I prefer to translate them into ‘what ifs’. What if I decided to volunteer for a bit? What would what future look like? What if I applied for that job after all? You can get excited about these what ifs, because they don’t belong to a life that has passed you by. They’re part of a future that just has yet to come.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Waiting For Lightning to Strike
I don’t know about you, but I don’t have things figured out yet. I don’t have a five year plan - I don’t even have a one year plan. When I graduated from university in 2009 I had a vague idea that I wanted to eventually pursue a graduate degree, but I was mostly relieved that I had managed to graduate at all. I rode that high for a few months, as I job hunted and caught up on my favourite TV shows and summer reading, waiting for a flash of inspiration to hit me. Any day now, I thought, a decision is going to descend from the heavens and alight on me like a divine truth, and I will know with absolute certainty and perfect clarity what I am meant to be doing.
A few more months passed and still no job. Sending out job applications started to feel like launching rocket ships into a black hole. Silence was the only answer I got back.. Am I the only one who hates this new system of online applications?
So I stopped sending them. I started to imagine myself at thirty, still unemployed, still living with my parents, my university diploma gathering dust in the bookshelf like a failed experiment. I started sleeping in later and watching more TV. I stopped talking to my friends because I could no longer answer the dreaded question, “So what are you up to these days?”
Just as I started to sink into a gooey mire of lethargy and depression, my mom (God bless her) suggested that if I couldn’t find a job, I should try doing some volunteer work. Well, I groaned and grumbled about how it should come to this, but I had to admit that it was better than staying home. So I started to volunteer with a local aid agency and for the first few months I was basically stuffing envelopes and picking up the mail. So much for my expensive education, I thought.
Then something horrible happened. On an island in the Caribbean a devastating earthquake claimed thousands of lives and aid agencies rushed to the scene to minister to the suffering populace. Suddenly I was on a plane to Haiti, sent by my organization to support a team offering vital services on the ground. If it didn’t sound so macabre, I would say I was in the right place at the right time. Not only did I meet some amazing people, but in witnessing the resilience of the survivors of that disaster helped me put my own situation into perspective.
Truth be told, a year later, I still don’t have things completely figured out. I’m still waiting to be struck by a cosmic bolt of inspirational lightning. But in the meantime I’m doing things I love: I’ve joined a choir, taken up a martial art, started crocheting again (I’ve only made scarves so far and one misshapen hat, but it was fun!), and I’ve even found a part-time job to tie me over. I’ve learned that life isn’t going to stand still while I figure things out (and Thank God it doesn’t!), so I’ve decided to just get on with the living of it.
A few more months passed and still no job. Sending out job applications started to feel like launching rocket ships into a black hole. Silence was the only answer I got back.. Am I the only one who hates this new system of online applications?
So I stopped sending them. I started to imagine myself at thirty, still unemployed, still living with my parents, my university diploma gathering dust in the bookshelf like a failed experiment. I started sleeping in later and watching more TV. I stopped talking to my friends because I could no longer answer the dreaded question, “So what are you up to these days?”
Just as I started to sink into a gooey mire of lethargy and depression, my mom (God bless her) suggested that if I couldn’t find a job, I should try doing some volunteer work. Well, I groaned and grumbled about how it should come to this, but I had to admit that it was better than staying home. So I started to volunteer with a local aid agency and for the first few months I was basically stuffing envelopes and picking up the mail. So much for my expensive education, I thought.
Then something horrible happened. On an island in the Caribbean a devastating earthquake claimed thousands of lives and aid agencies rushed to the scene to minister to the suffering populace. Suddenly I was on a plane to Haiti, sent by my organization to support a team offering vital services on the ground. If it didn’t sound so macabre, I would say I was in the right place at the right time. Not only did I meet some amazing people, but in witnessing the resilience of the survivors of that disaster helped me put my own situation into perspective.
Truth be told, a year later, I still don’t have things completely figured out. I’m still waiting to be struck by a cosmic bolt of inspirational lightning. But in the meantime I’m doing things I love: I’ve joined a choir, taken up a martial art, started crocheting again (I’ve only made scarves so far and one misshapen hat, but it was fun!), and I’ve even found a part-time job to tie me over. I’ve learned that life isn’t going to stand still while I figure things out (and Thank God it doesn’t!), so I’ve decided to just get on with the living of it.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Facebook Rules for Limbo Denizens
If you’re anything like me, there’s a Question that you never want to hear again and yet almost everyone you meet can’t seem to resist asking at every opportunity. You know the one.
“So....what are you doing these days?”
You hate it because you have to mumble something along the lines of “Oh, you know, just keeping busy.” It translates roughly to working at a dead-end job or worse, nothing and living off your parents, and you can see the look of pity in their eyes as they say “Ohh, right, it’s good to stay busy” and change the topic. Inevitably, whatever they are doing is much, much cooler than whatever it is that you do to pass the time, and you leave the meeting more dissatisfied with your life than ever.
Some well-intentioned people would have you believe that Facebook is the answer to this. You can stay in touch with your friends AND avoid the Question. They’re wrong. Facebook is worse. Why? Because with a certain amount of pride-swallowing, you can learn to deal with the Question (we’ll talk more about that later). But what is harder to take is what seems like an endless stream of friends and acquaintances whose lives are spectacularly better than yours. I can guarantee that as soon as you find yourself staring into the face of limbo, 99.9% of your Facebook friends will be in better school programs than you are, in better relationships, and better jobs. There is copious evidence to support this, from pictures (Dee’s Paris Adventure!) to status updates (Mike Laney is so psyched for med school!) and the automatic info updates that populate your news feed (Darren is now in a relationship).
So, what is a Limbo Denizen to do? Everytime a new tidbit pops up on your newsfeed, you are reminded of how great everyone else’s life is. How are you supposed to maintain your friendships when you don’t want to hear about everyone else’s good fortune? Here are a few rules for dealing with Facebook when you feel as if you don’t have anything good going on in your own life.
1. Don’t go on Facebook. No, really. If there is no way for you go on facebook without seeing everyone else’s happy, smiling faces, and you just can’t stand them, then don’t. You don’t really need to be on Facebook, especially if you can stay in touch with your friends via text, phone, and email. At the very least, seriously consider cutting down how much time you spend on there.
2. Hide certain people from your newsfeed. No matter what it seems, not everyone on your friends list will be constantly broadcasting how wonderful their lives are. Click on the little x beside a self-promoter’s status to hide it from your feed, and no longer will you feel as if their life is being held up to yours for constant comparison. And you can still stay in touch with them via chat and private messages - you just won’t see what they are doing at all times!
3. Defriend some people. This goes one step further than the previous suggestion. If you have Facebook friends who you wouldn’t talk to in real life, and haven’t talked to in more than a year, why should their status updates clutter your newsfeed? Do you really need to know what they’re doing? You don’t. Cut ‘em loose.
4. Realize that no-one’s life is as great as they portray it to be on Facebook. For example, while I was living off of my last tax refund without school or job in sight, my page could have been filled with pictures of me and friends at a theme park (the one time I went), status updates about how I was loving my time off, and an info page filled with my affiliation with University of X, cool past employment, and newsfeed updates about how ‘Miss D. is no longer listed as single’ simply because I had taken the information off of my profile. To an outsider, my sunny smile conveyed nothing except that I was extremely happy. I wasn’t. Similarly, your friends’ lives are not as perfect as you think they are.
5. Start cultivating hobbies. Take a class in something artsy, join a sports team at a local community center, and start volunteering. Soon, you will find that you too have cool pictures to post and interesting status updates to share. Better yet, you’ll feel happier about yourself.
6. Realize that what other people are doing is nowhere near as important as what you are doing. This is long-term, and not easily done for everyone. It’s hard to get past the rosy image that everyone projects, and takes significant will-power to not compare yourself to other people when you are already feeling insecure about yourself due to your time in limbo. But even a small effort helps, and when you combine this with the other five rules, Facebook might not be quite such a drain on your confidence.
“So....what are you doing these days?”
You hate it because you have to mumble something along the lines of “Oh, you know, just keeping busy.” It translates roughly to working at a dead-end job or worse, nothing and living off your parents, and you can see the look of pity in their eyes as they say “Ohh, right, it’s good to stay busy” and change the topic. Inevitably, whatever they are doing is much, much cooler than whatever it is that you do to pass the time, and you leave the meeting more dissatisfied with your life than ever.
Some well-intentioned people would have you believe that Facebook is the answer to this. You can stay in touch with your friends AND avoid the Question. They’re wrong. Facebook is worse. Why? Because with a certain amount of pride-swallowing, you can learn to deal with the Question (we’ll talk more about that later). But what is harder to take is what seems like an endless stream of friends and acquaintances whose lives are spectacularly better than yours. I can guarantee that as soon as you find yourself staring into the face of limbo, 99.9% of your Facebook friends will be in better school programs than you are, in better relationships, and better jobs. There is copious evidence to support this, from pictures (Dee’s Paris Adventure!) to status updates (Mike Laney is so psyched for med school!) and the automatic info updates that populate your news feed (Darren is now in a relationship).
So, what is a Limbo Denizen to do? Everytime a new tidbit pops up on your newsfeed, you are reminded of how great everyone else’s life is. How are you supposed to maintain your friendships when you don’t want to hear about everyone else’s good fortune? Here are a few rules for dealing with Facebook when you feel as if you don’t have anything good going on in your own life.
1. Don’t go on Facebook. No, really. If there is no way for you go on facebook without seeing everyone else’s happy, smiling faces, and you just can’t stand them, then don’t. You don’t really need to be on Facebook, especially if you can stay in touch with your friends via text, phone, and email. At the very least, seriously consider cutting down how much time you spend on there.
2. Hide certain people from your newsfeed. No matter what it seems, not everyone on your friends list will be constantly broadcasting how wonderful their lives are. Click on the little x beside a self-promoter’s status to hide it from your feed, and no longer will you feel as if their life is being held up to yours for constant comparison. And you can still stay in touch with them via chat and private messages - you just won’t see what they are doing at all times!
3. Defriend some people. This goes one step further than the previous suggestion. If you have Facebook friends who you wouldn’t talk to in real life, and haven’t talked to in more than a year, why should their status updates clutter your newsfeed? Do you really need to know what they’re doing? You don’t. Cut ‘em loose.
4. Realize that no-one’s life is as great as they portray it to be on Facebook. For example, while I was living off of my last tax refund without school or job in sight, my page could have been filled with pictures of me and friends at a theme park (the one time I went), status updates about how I was loving my time off, and an info page filled with my affiliation with University of X, cool past employment, and newsfeed updates about how ‘Miss D. is no longer listed as single’ simply because I had taken the information off of my profile. To an outsider, my sunny smile conveyed nothing except that I was extremely happy. I wasn’t. Similarly, your friends’ lives are not as perfect as you think they are.
5. Start cultivating hobbies. Take a class in something artsy, join a sports team at a local community center, and start volunteering. Soon, you will find that you too have cool pictures to post and interesting status updates to share. Better yet, you’ll feel happier about yourself.
6. Realize that what other people are doing is nowhere near as important as what you are doing. This is long-term, and not easily done for everyone. It’s hard to get past the rosy image that everyone projects, and takes significant will-power to not compare yourself to other people when you are already feeling insecure about yourself due to your time in limbo. But even a small effort helps, and when you combine this with the other five rules, Facebook might not be quite such a drain on your confidence.
Welcome to Limbo
Don’t you wish you could meet your future self and find out how it all turns out?
For years, your life was laid out in front of you. You went to elementary school, high school, then some sort of post-secondary education. And then....you graduated.
What now?
Perhaps you had a plan, only to have it derailed because you didn’t achieve what you thought you would. Or it turns out that perfect plan wasn’t so perfect a fit for you after all. Life can throw you for a loop no matter how hard (or how hard you don’t) work, and many recent graduates suddenly find themselves adrift in a world where everyone else seems to have it together. How do you cope? How do you pick up the pieces of your once bright and shiny dreams and build anew? Some of you may already have a vague idea of what you want to do, but no clue as to how to get there. Still others struggle with forming a concrete picture of what our lives could look like. But for all of us, we have one thing in common; that the immediate future is a gaping hole that we somehow have to bridge in order to cross over to the successful life we just know is waiting for us on the other side. Worst of all? There’s no-one to build that bridge but us.
Since you can’t meet that future version of yourself, we thought it’d be nice to have the next best thing: a guide to living your life as you navigate that in-between stage and try to move on to bigger and better things. There will be posts on dealing with those rejection letters, keeping friendships alive when everyone you know seems to be moving on without you, and how to feel like a (semi-) independent adult when you live at home with your parents. Of course, there will more than a few emotional outpourings along the way, definitely on our parts, and maybe on yours. But that’s the point. There are many of us who are, or have been in limbo, and when you can’t see a way out of it, it’s often comforting to know that there are others there with you. We’re still figuring it out, and while we don’t have all the answers, let’s share how we feel and learn from each other. Then, we think, limbo won’t be so bad.
For years, your life was laid out in front of you. You went to elementary school, high school, then some sort of post-secondary education. And then....you graduated.
What now?
Perhaps you had a plan, only to have it derailed because you didn’t achieve what you thought you would. Or it turns out that perfect plan wasn’t so perfect a fit for you after all. Life can throw you for a loop no matter how hard (or how hard you don’t) work, and many recent graduates suddenly find themselves adrift in a world where everyone else seems to have it together. How do you cope? How do you pick up the pieces of your once bright and shiny dreams and build anew? Some of you may already have a vague idea of what you want to do, but no clue as to how to get there. Still others struggle with forming a concrete picture of what our lives could look like. But for all of us, we have one thing in common; that the immediate future is a gaping hole that we somehow have to bridge in order to cross over to the successful life we just know is waiting for us on the other side. Worst of all? There’s no-one to build that bridge but us.
Since you can’t meet that future version of yourself, we thought it’d be nice to have the next best thing: a guide to living your life as you navigate that in-between stage and try to move on to bigger and better things. There will be posts on dealing with those rejection letters, keeping friendships alive when everyone you know seems to be moving on without you, and how to feel like a (semi-) independent adult when you live at home with your parents. Of course, there will more than a few emotional outpourings along the way, definitely on our parts, and maybe on yours. But that’s the point. There are many of us who are, or have been in limbo, and when you can’t see a way out of it, it’s often comforting to know that there are others there with you. We’re still figuring it out, and while we don’t have all the answers, let’s share how we feel and learn from each other. Then, we think, limbo won’t be so bad.
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