Left Behind

It's back to school season and I’m coming to terms with being left behind. Granted, I’ve been out of school for almost three years but the first year I was busy with plans to go back to school and trying to find a job to sustain me in the meantime, and the year after I was headed to foreign shores. This year is different though. This year nothing new is going on. I’ve settled into my part-time job and living at home with my parents, and life is a bit dull, but the thing that makes it worst is that my fellow limbo dwellers are on their way to new and exciting adventures. It’s hard not to feel left out.

It’s been a long time since I was perched on the edge of something new and exciting. At first, graduating from college felt like that, but the thrill has worn off and even the dread of an uncertain future has faded. Life is slower now that I don’t have deadlines and due dates to rush towards. Part of me is afraid that its been too long, that I’m getting rusty, out of practice. Part of me wonders how many more back-to-school Septembers will pass me by. How many years will I languish in limbo? Will I ever get off the ground?

Ok, I need some perspective. After all, it hasn’t been that long since I left school. There’s still time. This is only the beginning of my journey. I just have to visualize myself being successful. I will go back to school. I will eventually have a meaningful and fulfilling career. I will not be living with my parents forever.

But in the meantime, how to combat those September blues? What I’d like to do is buy a ticket to some exotic destination, but unfortunately my pocketbook is not in agreement. So do I enroll in a cooking class? Do I take up crocheting again? Maybe I should do some volunteer work; that’s always a sure fire way of doing something productive with your restlessness. The point is I need a mental change of scenery. Instead of sinking into a self-pitying funk, I need to use this time to study the lessons you don’t learn in the classroom. I know that sounds cliche but I also know that I’m not the only limbo dweller to have discovered that there are things you learn about living that they can’t teach you in school, things you can only learn by getting out there and living.

Not that going to school is not living, of course. On that note, I’d like to congratulate and well-wish all you limbo dwellers who are moving out of limbo this Fall. I truly am happy for you, even if you are leaving me behind. And I know that even if you don’t return my calls on weeknights because you’re holed up in some library cubicle trying to stuff knowledge into your brain, we’re still friends.